Building Stream (with a grain of salt)

The Human League Was Wrong

I’ve been told by several people recently that I process and assess myself more than most people do.

They meant that as a compliment.

I do take the time to process what I’m going through and figure out what it means more than the average person I know.  It’s nice to finally realize that’s what I’ve been doing all these years.

Knowing and understanding the inner turmoil you’re going through is good for you.  It gives you a small sense of hope to know what it is you’re facing instead of being confused about it.  When you don’t understand what you’re going through you can’t help yourself get out of it.

We’re human.  We have brains and bodies that are of a fallen intellect.  We’re not born to make mistakes, but we will make them.  Figuring out what the issue is brings us closer to knowing whether or not we have the power to control the issue.

If we see that the issue is something we can control we can show some self-restraint and deal with the problem.  It might be as easy as telling yourself to stop doing something.  But if we see the issue is out of our control we will know to seek God’s guidance and strength.

It’s been a big help for me in my growth.

The Human League, “Human”

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

I recently went through the kind of low point that wakes you up and makes you face some things so you can begin to take a turn for the better.

Due to the passage of time I see with greater focus how God’s hand is working things out.  I wouldn’t have come to realize anything I have if I didn’t believe in and trust God, His power, His grace, and His promise to prosper me as he promises all of us in Jeremiah 29:11. 

My story is that I have dreams of a career in a field I am very passionate about.  I know that to do the kind of work I admire most I would eventually have to move.  The wise thing to do was to work here to provide for myself and to save up money to make the move.  In the meantime, I would do what I could in my field so I could hone my skills and not be such a novice when I do move.

Through this process I prayed for work and for experience and spiritual guidance.  I gained a lot of wisdom through church sermons and time spent with Godly people, but I wasn’t finding work that sustained my expenses nor did they come anywhere near enough to save up for the future.

I prayed for what God wanted me to do so things could get better, but years went by and things didn’t.  Then last month, in the span of a week, all of this came to a head.  Despite my efforts and prayer things weren’t changing and I didn’t see how they could.  This came along with a stressful family situation and a very tough breakup.  I’d had enough.  I was physically, emotionally and spiritually burnt out.  I was out of ideas and I felt like God didn’t care.  

But that wasn’t true.  God needed me here so He could lead me to learn things and give me a vision and purpose that is fueled by the kind of inspiration and passion I had been seeking for years.  Looking back I can see that I wouldn’t have learned these things had I not been in my set of circumstances.

This past month I’ve been reading in the book of Acts about Paul’s journey.  He spent a lot of his life in jail and on trial.  But Paul didn’t look at his trials and tribulations as things he needed to get himself out of.  He looked at them as opportunities to spread the Gospel and for God to grow him.

Bad things are bad.  Paul didn’t pretend that his circumstances were easy and wonderful. He had a tough time with them as anyone would.  But he went a step further and sought finding where God could take him.  Not, “What can I do to get out of this?”  

That difference of perspective lead Paul to do great, spirit-led work for the Kingdom.  It’s not about what we can do to make things better.  It’s about what God wants to do.  Seeking Him to find out what He wants has allowed me to see His character more clearly and find out what my direction is.

Barcelona, “Get Up, Get Up, Get Up”

Reach Out

I’m feeling convicted about something I do all the time…pray for people.

It is good to pray for people.  Pray without ceasing.  But a lot of times I find myself praying for someone and they have no clue I am.

Have you ever had someone tell you that they’ve been praying for you?  I have, and it’s a heartwarming surprise each time because I had no idea they even noticed I was in need.  If they hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have had that grateful moment.  I realized that all the strength the Lord had been giving me was not only because of my prayers, but also those friends’.  It makes you feel the support of your community to know they have been praying for you.

So don’t keep that to yourself.  Tell someone you’re praying for that they’ve been on your heart and in your prayers.  Encourage them with what you’ve been praying for them.  You have no clue what good it will do for them.  They’ll feel less alone, they’ll feel more confident, and they’ll feel comforted that somebody cared.

Elliott Smith, “Twilight”

You Never Can Hit Who You’re Trying For

It’s impossible to both have unbelief and belief at the same time.  Yet, you might not think so because you’ve prayed for God to help you with your unbelief before.

When you have unbelief it means that you are doubting God’s power, word and/or desire to help.  To believe is to trust in and know God’s power, word and desire to help.

The act of getting on your knees and praying to God shows that you do in fact believe that He has the power and ability to help, that you don’t doubt His word that He can do all things you ask, and that you think He wants to help you.

So even if you doubted Him seconds before you began to pray, you no longer doubt.  In a moment your unbelief was overcome by God’s love and grace and you didn’t even realize it.

Recognize that the next time you struggle with doubt and turn to God for help.  Ask God why you doubted Him even for a second, figure that out, and move forward.

Circa Survive, “The Difference Between Medicine and Poison is in the Dose”

“My mind’s not a well/it won’t run dry”

We Can Work It Out

Ever had someone guilt you and make you feel bad for something you said or did by saying things like, “That’s how you made me feel?”  Maybe you’ve said it yourself.  

I noticed, through reading a book titled “Why am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am” and some other experiences, that just because you feel something doesn’t necessarily mean you have good reason to dump it all on someone.  

As is said in the book, “feelings and emotions themselves are not moral or immoral.”  So it’s okay to feel something.  You’re entitled to having your own opinions and feelings, but you aren’t entitled to being rude or selfish about them.

The mature, adult way to handle your emotions involves a few steps I picked up from “Why am I Afraid…”

1. Acknowledge That You are Feeling Something
   Pretending you aren’t feeling something isn’t a mature way to handle things nor is it a true sense of what is going on inside you.  You can’t process situations without honestly acknowledging that you are feeling something. The world tries to discourage us from feelings sometimes.  But it’s okay to feel something.
2. Acknowledge What You are Feeling
   Are you happy, sad, despondent?  What is it?  You can’t properly process without pinpointing what it is that you are feeling.  People are tempted to stop here. Don’t!  Move forward to the next step.
3. Figure Out Why You are Feeling the Emotion
   What’s the basis for why you feel this way?  Is it something that happened in your past?  Do you have a sensitivity to an underlying issue?  Knowing why you are feeling what you are feeling allows you to open your eyes to your circumstances.
4. Determine if it’s Worth Addressing
   What I’ve experienced sometimes is that what I’m feeling might not really matter.  I may realize I don’t care as much as I thought I did and my feelings were just a knee-jerk reaction.  This is the “pick your battles” part of the process.  It just may not be worth confronting someone because it’s not a big deal.

When I’ve taken the time to go through this process I’ve actually seen my growth and was proud of myself.  I’m not special.  I’m just saying that I did feel a sense of pride that was quite encouraging.  

Too often we’re quick to get upset and confront a person in an angry way.  But as my grandfather used to say, “One should learn to have thoughtfully controlled emotions and not emotionally controlled thoughts.”  

When we don’t take the time to process what we’re feeling we tend to respond emotionally - firing off emails we quickly regret, damaging relationships.  I’ve done it.  You’ve done it.  But if we take the time to figure out what it is we’re feeling we will lead ourselves to discover the best way to approaching our issues.

We are called to bring everything to the Lord.  If you aren’t assessing what is really on your heart and affecting you you can’t truly bring everything to the Lord.

The Beatles or Stevie Wonder, “We Can Work it Out” 

Purpose

Ephesians 2:10 is a great place to look if you’re wondering, “Why am I here?  Why was I created?” or “What is my purpose?

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Chrst Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Why were you created? 

The quick answer, to do good works.  To serve.  I think this means something bigger than just being nice to people or showing basic common decency.  
It’s just hard for me to believe that God created us and sent Jesus to die for our sins and receive a relationship with God just so we could open the door for the person walking in the building behind you.  The phrase “good works” sounds bigger to me.

What is your purpose?

The second part of that verse speaks to this.  ”…which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  
I believe there is a specific good work that God, in his sovereignty, knew would need to be done and God has planned for you to do it.  Basically He’s commissioned all of us for a work.  Whatever that work is, that’s your purpose.

People can drive themselves crazy trying to figure out their purpose.  Here are a couple of ways people can do this:

• Wanting to Hear Their Purpose in Huge Ways
  It might be tempting to hear your purpose in as big of a way as Saul had his purpose revealed to him. (Acts 9: 3-16)  Chances are that’s not going to happen.

It would be cool to audibly hear God speak to us, but that’s not how He does it anymore.  We have the Holy Bible so readily accessible and that’s how you “hear” God.  
Start to look at reading the Bible as there being a sudden flash of light from heaven that knocks you to the ground like what happened to Saul.  Because either way, He’s speaking to you and that is huge.  It doesn’t have to be grandiose.

• Thinking Their Purpose HAS to be Huge
  It might be a huge purpose.  But it doesn’t have to be for it to be significant.  For Saul (who, through his conversion, became Paul), his purpose was huge.  Chances are that yours and mine won’t be so large in scope.  Saul was God’s chosen instrument for his purpose.  You are a chosen instrument, as well.

Think of an orchestra.  Many people are playing the same instrument, but only one or two or so people get to solo.  It’s easy to think the soloists are contributing more, but take one violinist out of that line and the sound changes.  It is diminished.  
It’s the same with your purpose.  Maybe it doesn’t seem as big of a deal as the “soloist’s,” but it does play a significant role to the Kingdom.

You have a unique purpose, regardless of enormity.  Given the language of Ephesians 2:10 I would say YOU have a SPECIFIC purpose.
Find it by seeking the Lord in quiet time with the Word and asking for guidance.  Do all that you can to serve.  Not just at your church, but in your community, as well.  Take every opportunity to help people.  The Lord will lead you and reveal to you your specific purpose.

Explosions in the Sky, “Six Days at the Bottom of the Sea”

Spirit-Led Vs. Self-Led

Someone I know, who loves the Lord, once told me that they approach life like this, “When some opportunity comes along that isn’t immoral I’ll do it.”  

I don’t completely agree with this.  Something may not be inherently wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s something we should do.  It could be a distraction, a waste of time, or we could unknowingly be leading ourselves to a bad situation.  You’ve led yourself into something not worth your time or that was bad for you.

I think we should be spirit-led, not self-led.  

It’s okay to do things you like that aren’t sinful, but we should seek Him when it comes to bigger things like job opportunities, mission work, business ventures, where to live, who to date.  

I think a lot of people are self-led when it comes to dating. 

A lot of people attempt to pursue someone they’ve convinced themselves is someone they should date.  On paper it made sense.  They’re Godly, cool, attractive, and you hit it off.  So you went for it, but it didn’t go well.  
Though you will still go through hurt when dating, when your actions are spirit-led you avoid a lot of mess.  So I very much believe we should seek His wisdom.

Having said that, there are some things to be cautious of:

• Over-Spiritualizing - I’ve done this.  I am so conscious of the damage I can do when left to my own devices and scared of bringing that on my life that I can seek hearing from God so intently that I’m not doing anything.  It’s fear.  We should seek the Lord, but not to a point that we aren’t moving at all.  That doesn’t show the progress a phrase like “walking with Christ” should exhibit.  Nor should we ask about literally everything.  God probably doesn’t have much to say about whether you should have chicken or fish for dinner tonight.  
• Laying Out Everything on Your Heart - This happens because we’re so excited about the spiritual growth God is working in our hearts and getting to know this person was the catalyst for it.  So you want to share how great they are and how excited you are about what’s going on. 

We should be open about our affection, but people aren’t entirely comfortable with that expression.  
So when you say things like, “Getting to know you has been so great!  You’re so amazing and fun to be around!” with the full excitement of the work the Lord is doing on your heart you could lead that person to have feelings that don’t match your genuine and well-meant intentions.  They will start liking you or spurning your advances.  

There are four outcomes to this (note - “like” in this portion means “to have romantic feelings for):

1. They mistake your comments for flirting and showing interest so they start to like you, but you don’t like them.  You’re just excited.  So now they’ve accidentally been led on.
2. They mistake your comments for showing interest, but they don’t like you.  However, you like them and they’re putting you off cause you seem too eager.  That can hurt.
3. They don’t like you and you don’t like them, though you do want to get to know them as a friend.  But because you’re coming off like you like them they’re pushing you away.
4. They start to like you and you start to you like them.  

That last scenario might happen and it might work out well, but you’ve got a 25% chance of that being the case.  

My advice: Just treat people you become interested in as the spiritual siblings that they are and get to know them as a friend in a Godly way.  

Too often we self-lead and skip building a friendship and go straight to thinking about dating, which clouds our judgment and oftentimes leads to hurting ourselves and others.  
Spirit-led pursuit helps us avoid that and it better prepares us for finding our help-mate for marriage.  

The foundation of our marriages starts with how we build our friendships.  

(this song has nothing to do with this post other than it has been in my head all day and is just pure dopeness)

D’Angelo, “Spanish Joint”

Take My Life, Please

Something dawned on me today.  

I have asked the Lord to do a work on my heart and to do a work on my mind, but I’ve never asked Him to do a work on my life.

We are called to seek the Lord with all of our heart, our mind, our soul, and our strength. (Luke 10:27) But instead of using my strength to seek Him, I was using it to work on my life myself.

For so long I thought I was putting God first and “giving it all to Him” because I was seeking Him to work on my heart and mind.  Then, with those areas in God’s hands I’d pray, “Now, what can I do to fix and repair my life?”  In other words, I’m trying to do work to change my life in my power.

I didn’t have the power to change my heart or my mind.  Why did I think I had the power to change my life?  That energy should have been used to seek Him and ask Him to do work on my life because He has the power to fix and change things.  

Yes, I do need to make a move.  But I can’t think that my movement or my work is where transformation comes from.  I don’t have the power to bring that kind of change.  
And neither do you.  He does.  
We should rely on Him for the big things out of our control. (Ephesians 2:9)

Alicia Keys, Lesson Learned

There is No Better Find

We live in a society that encourages seeking Earthly ways to find comfort.

I feel God doing a work in my heart in this area.  I have opportunities every day to find comfort in something that isn’t the Lord, but if I want to seek Him as the source of my provision in everything then I can’t seek comfort in Earthly things over Him.

Friends and family and the whole universe will tell us to seek comfort in food, romantic relationships or trysts, exercise, going to church, drugs, money, clothes, jewelry, possessions, alcohol, ourselves and whatever we want.   

To be clear, I’m not saying that there aren’t good things on Earth or that we can’t enjoy some of these things.  We can.  There’s a proper time and place for many of those things I mentioned.  But when we’re down and looking for a pick-me-up, we shouldn’t seek them out to fill a void.  

Let me explain what “filling a void” means.  I’m not talking about having a glass of scotch after a long and tiring day at work just to unwind; or vedging on the couch one night with a movie and some popcorn cause you could use the break.  I’m talking about stress-eating, or shopping specifically to make you happy and not because you needed a new dress.

God doesn’t want this for us because: 

1. It’s Not Good For Us
   Earthly things, even people, don’t have the power to be perfect so eventually they will not sustain the level of comfort we seek in them.  The well runs out.  And when it does, we’re right back where we started, maybe even worse off. Sometimes we make mistakes when we try to control things, and that can damage us emotionally.
2. It Gets in the Way of Our Relationship with Him
   This is most important.  Some things we seek comfort in are sinful.  Even if we’re not sinning, per se, we are making an idol and that breaks the first Commandment, which is sin. Sin separates us from God.  God wants to have a relationship with us.  God provides help, love, and blessings.  It’s hard to receive what we need from God when we are separated by sin.

God wants to be first in our lives, but because we need God to be first so that we can have the success God promises us.  Seeking idols first creates more problems in your life.

Don’t think that putting God first means you won’t have trouble, though.  Christ is clear with us that we will have trouble. But when we seek Him first for comfort we will get it:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this would you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

MuteMath, “Control”

I Fall Down

God is doing a work on my heart right now when it comes to trust.

In prayer the other day I felt the Lord ask me if I trusted Him.  I had a hard time answering it.

I thought about it and I started to compartmentalize things one-by-one to see if I was trusting God in each area.  Yet, He isn’t the Lord over things one-by-one, but of all things.  I must recognize this about His character and position.

The next day I felt some growth in trusting Him, but was pressed to push a little further.  I was praying and I felt the Lord say to me, “Ask me for anything.”  I partly asked for my dreams.  Less than what I really wanted.  

I felt the Lord convict me a little, “Why?  Why didn’t you ask for anything?  I said ‘ask me for anything’ and you held back.”

Sometimes I feel guilty asking in prayer for what I really want.  Other times I’m thinking, “Well, I know I should bend to His will and He may not want to do what I’m thinking so I won’t ask for it.”

This is actually kind of insulting to God.  Sometimes we might simply be giving up something that doesn’t matter.  But when I prayed, I was praying about my dreams for my life.  Something important, not superficial wants that have no bearing on the Kingdom.  
When we hamper our prayers we’re doing it from an attitude that either God can’t or doesn’t want to give us good and perfect gifts when that’s ALL He can give.  (James 1:17)

It’s a trust issue.  I’m not trusting Him when I don’t seek Him to provide the biggest things on my heart.  That’s not recognizing who He is.

There’s more to trust than that obvious point, though.   

There are at least three areas of trusting God:  

• Trust His power
  As stated above, I need to understand His position and His power.  Realizing God’s position as my Father, that He comes first, and that He is as powerful as He is draws me to seek only Him for provision in all things. (Matthew 6:33)
• Trusting Him with desires large or small 
  If it’s a relationship with the Lord that I seek then I need to trust Him enough to tell Him what’s truly on my heart.  It’s about intimacy.  I should bare my soul to God when I pray.  Not hold back.  I have to trust that I can tell Him anything.
• Trusting His plan
  Sometimes we can hold back because we are afraid what He’ll tell us.  We have our own plans married to our hearts’ desires and we don’t trust His plan will be as good.  But, Isaiah 55: 8-9 tell us His ways and thoughts are better than ours.  We have to trust that His plan is what is best for us.

Jesus demonstrates this.  

Jesus knew His death was coming, (Matthew 16:21, 17:22, 20:18-19).  He knew it had to happen, but realized how difficult it would be.  So He prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, take this cup from me,” (Matthew 26:39) to say, “Get me out of this.”  
But then Jesus prayed, “Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Jesus knew and trusted God’s power in being able to get Him out of it.  
Jesus was clear with God about what He wanted and didn’t ask for less.
Jesus trusted God’s plan.  ”Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Jesus trusted God with the intimate details and desires of His heart.  And He trusted God’s plan over his. 

U2, “Falling at Your Feet”

“Not my will/thy will”